Powerful Hashtag #ImWithAmber Highlights a Major Problem With the Way We Approach Abuse

While Amber Heard's case against Johnny Depp is still in progress, society's response to her claims of domestic violence are concerning at best.

"She's a gold digger, it's so obvious."

"If he was abusive even before they were married, why didn't she just leave sooner?"

"This girl is a broke-ass nobody, of course she's trying to take Johnny for all he's worth."

"Who even cares what he did, he's Johnny Depp."

"At least Johnny is single now."

"Okay, but what did she do to make him so mad?"

Since news leaked that Amber Heard was divorcing Johnny Depp, a fresh update on the break-up has been thrust at us daily. It is by far the biggest Hollywood scandal 2016 has seen, and overwhelmingly, the public seems to believe Amber Heard is a liar.

As in any celebrity feud, speculation runs amok. Heard's camp has made many attempts to legitimize her case: multiple photos of the actress's bruised face, screenshots of text messages detailing the abuse (later claimed to have been doctored by Depp's assistant), and an emotional account of the couple's troubled 15-month relationship straight from Heard's mouth. Still, the 30-year-old can't go a day without absolute condemnation.

Depp, meanwhile, has remained silent. He hasn't been forced to say a word in his own defense, because with every passing day, the last word has been in his defense. No one's mad at good old Johnny — they liked him in Pirates.

Swiftly discrediting possible victims of domestic violence simply due to the status of their partner — A-list actor, business owner, man of the house — is a popular practice. It's also a practice far too telling of our society, and a practice that needs to change.

Public criticism of Heard hit its peak when her financial information was released, revealing that despite earning $259,876 in 2015, she profited only $51,461 after agent fees and union dues.

Median household income in the United States was $54,462 in 2015, according to the Census Bureau. She was, by all accounts, an average earner, married to a man whose net worth is said to be around $400 million. To many, this confirmed Heard's status as a "gold digger." But it's fair to ask, why? Why is proof of salary a method to implicate a person of wrongdoing? Why are people somehow worse the lower their salary? Why does being in a room full of high earners ensure you won't be misguided, or lied to?

People of all shapes, sizes, genders, and tax brackets experience abuse. That doesn't make them fraudsters. In reality, this woman is subjecting herself to more resentment, anger, and hatred by speaking out than is conceivable for most of us. In reality, people have killed themselves over less. In reality, a measly 34 percent of abuse victims ever seek medical treatment — or justice.

There's also the cold, hard fact that Heard has yet to ask for half of Depp's considerable fortune — a fortune that (in the absence of a prenuptial agreement) she is entitled to according to California marriage laws. Instead, she's asked for $50,000/month in spousal support and custody of one of their two dogs — the dogs she broke the law to have with her in Australia.

Heard is also currently suing Doug Stanhope, who accused her of blackmail via an article published on The Wrap, for the maximum possible jury award. She'll reportedly donate the entirety of any funds won to a domestic violence charity in Arizona.

Granted, $50,000/month is a substantial chunk of change. But for someone like Depp, whose estimated $400 million net worth means he could manage that monthly bill for the next 666 years, $600,000/year is chump change.

There are no flies on the wall. There is no argument to be made that the alleged abuse did or did not actually happen. If tomorrow it was revealed that Heard made the whole thing up, it would be sad, but the underlying issue would still exist: the reasoning we use to justify our assessment of Heard as the bad guy, the gold digger, the liar, the fraud, the errant bisexual, the bimbo, the unrepentant user, the manipulator, and in the end, the distinctly unheard, is toxic. It's a narrative of victim blaming that we as a public seem unable to shake, and it starts with every one of us.

This, among other reasons, is why newly trending hashtag #ImWithAmber is so important. Because no person sitting at home watching this case play out — Heard's reputation utterly trashed and, in the process, likely her career as well — should ever feel hesitant to follow in her footsteps. No person should bury their own experiences of abuse in order to avoid the terrifying backlash that even someone as (relatively) powerful as Heard has weathered.

So let's take another look at the facts...

What she's saying: "An alcoholic with a drug addiction is violent toward me when he's high."

What the world is saying: "Gold digger."

What we could be saying: #ImWithAmber

a ona kao nije znala da je Johhny nasilni primitivac i narkoman? pa bile su ga pune novine kad je razbijao hotelski inventar. i koji klinac je tražila s nasilnikom?
ne kažem da je sponzoruša, ali je glupa ako je mislila da će s njom biti drukčiji nego s prethodnicama.
on će i dalje nastaviti po starom, a nju će razvlačiti po netu. i netko se tome čudi? pa to je cijena slave, između ostalog.

...

sad sam guglala tu Amber. ima 30 godina. dakle nije naivna 18-godišnjakinja koja nasjedne na bajke blagoglagoljivog muškarca, pa da kažeš - mlada, neiskusna, zaljubila se. ne vjerujem da nije znala za njegove skandale, dakle svjesno je ušla u vezu s likom koji se baš i ne ponaša kavalirski. ne znam šta je očekivala. da će ga ona promijeniti?


a bome, i ona je uhićivana zbog nasilja prema bivšoj curi. ni njoj nisu sve daske na broju.

U celoj ovoj frci koju prave islamisti širom Sveta naši lokalni mukijevi svedoci se ućutali.Ništa.Nema ih.Izgleda da sem što su lažan narod u lažnoj državi sa lažnim poreklom i lažnim masonima,čak i lažni muslimani!

Sve po njihovom atm, zadovoljno predu

Da.Za sada.Ne znam Dali si primetio da su počeli u komentarima po Fejsbuku i forumima da Srbe nazivaju manjinom.Hrvate ni ne pominju.

Mislim da je to kontra-hype za onih 23,7%. Klasika. Ono sto me brine je da nijednog nisam cuo da osudjuje postupke IS-a.

Mene bi više brinulo da vidim da ih osuđuju.Što se više budu radikalizovali to će biti lakši plen.Sve može pokvariti jedino Hr što ne bi bio prvi put.
Po meni najveći problem leži u politici Hr prema BiH.Dok Hr podržava muslimane da bi naštetila Republici Srpskoj,Hrvati se polako tope u tkz.bih.Na kraju kao posledicu imaćemo,ne znam,100.000 Hrvata.Ne znam na osnovu čega će se Hr moći umešati u budući sukob između Srba i muslimana?To će biti(opet)čista agresija na Srbe koja će onda uplesti Srbiju u direktan rat sa Hrvatskom.
Da do toga ne bi došlo neko mora da promeni politiku.Ako je promeni Srbija,Srpska će nestati a Srbi će doživeti sudbinu Hrvata.Stvoriće se muslimanska država na tlu bih a svi znamo šta to znači.Oni nemaju kapacitet kao grupa,jer to nije narod već verska grupa,da izgrade normalno društvo.Pre svega zato što su muslimani.Ako Hrvatska promeni svoju politiku doćiće do podele bih i imaćemo opet jednu malu muslimansku dzamahiriju ali bez snage da ugrožava bezbednost okolnih zemalja.
Po mojoj proceni Hrvatska nema snage da promeni politiku.Rat između muslimana i Srba u RS (koje će pomagati Srbija,definitivno) je neizbežan kao i direktna konfrontacija Srbije i Hrvatske.NATO će u svemu tome imati nekakvu drugačiju ulogu s obzirom da je Srbija faktički već pridruženi član NATO pakta.

Ukoliko se pokrene zapad po pitanju suzbijanja islama, sankcije uz ultimatume ce biti sasvim dovoljne za deislamizaciju Bosnjakistana (trenutno). Postujuci sporazum iz Washingtona, FBiH bi se tako potpuno deislamizirala, kroatizirala(debosnjakizirala) i pripojila RH. No, sto se vise arapa naseljava, to ce teze ici mirnim putem, nit ce imat smisla kroatizirat te ljude, te ce se isti morat deportirat. Sat otkucava .. moguce je trajno izgubiti ove zemlje.